Boy, last night I was on the verge of a major meltdown. I was asked to coordinate 20 volunteers to work a silent auction for a non-profit org that I belong to. Everything was swimming along beautifully until the end when things got a bit out of control and disorganized. I hate being "in charge", especially when things start going in the wrong direction. I just shut down emotionally and lose my ability to direct people. Luckily, we got back on track and everything worked out fine but I've been really stressed and hard on myself about the melt-down. I know everything is fine but I'm still blaming myself for the failure of part of the process because I didn't have a clear picture of how things should go and not being able to communicate effectively. I mean, what was all that therapy for if I still can't tell people what I need in a moment of stress?!
Anyway, this lollipop, this sweet childhood fantasy is what I long for... days of no responsibility, lot's of "do-overs" and more importantly just having fun. Why all the stress? Oy!
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