Beach Weather

It's getting cold outside! This is when I wish it was still summer and I could walk around in my shorts and a t-shirt all day and night; nary a shiver coursing through my body. Usually, I'm excited by the cold but this year is different. Why? Because I remember last year, shovelling through 10 feet of snow in front of my house. Avalanches falling off the roof and blocking me in... my driveway needing to be plowed two or three times a day... and still getting stuck! All this is why we decided to close the house down for the winter, which makes me sad to think we won't be going up for three months. Our house is my retreat from this crazy city and what will I do without it? Sounds like we'll finally visit our friends in LA this winter! Yay!

Lollipop, Lollipop

Boy, last night I was on the verge of a major meltdown. I was asked to coordinate 20 volunteers to work a silent auction for a non-profit org that I belong to. Everything was swimming along beautifully until the end when things got a bit out of control and disorganized. I hate being "in charge", especially when things start going in the wrong direction. I just shut down emotionally and lose my ability to direct people. Luckily, we got back on track and everything worked out fine but I've been really stressed and hard on myself about the melt-down. I know everything is fine but I'm still blaming myself for the failure of part of the process because I didn't have a clear picture of how things should go and not being able to communicate effectively. I mean, what was all that therapy for if I still can't tell people what I need in a moment of stress?!

Anyway, this lollipop, this sweet childhood fantasy is what I long for... days of no responsibility, lot's of "do-overs" and more importantly just having fun. Why all the stress? Oy!

Do you think this sends the wrong message?

I'm thinking about using this image as a Christmas Card. It's this or a plastic hotdog...

California Dreamin'

Clarity is on the horizon. It's good to have friends that continue to give support and ideas about how to tap into my creative skills. I am working on a few ideas, of which I will discuss when they are more concrete and yeild results (i.e. money). For now, I'll continue posting vagaries on my mental state!

Leaf Me Alone!